I’m part of an online school for entrepreneurs. We teach people how to get their idea ready for launch in 6 weeks. It’s called Impatient School and if you would like to know more, you can check it out here.
We had a conversation about sales with the team the other day. It was one of those conversations where everyone is looking anywhere but at each other because people know they have divergent opinions.
Then came the painful moment when we finally looked at each other, agreeing on the fact that none of us is good at sales.
This projected me back on the food fairs I attended when I had my food startup. I hated those fairs because I knew I was bad at selling and, most of all, I really didn’t like it.
At Impatient School, the member of the team who is the most involved in creating the curriculum for the school was the one who didn’t even want to talk about sales. How strange, right? He should be the one pushing it, excited to see his work go into the world. But the truth is, he’s scared. Telling people about your project is scary. Selling it is even more scary. You get this feeling you’re literally putting your organs on the table. And I’m not using the word organs by chance.
In fact, from the moment you’re emotionally involved, you’re putting your heart of the table. And usually, it doesn’t end well. Or it doesn’t even start because you’re too afraid people will say no to you.
So, how do we break the vicious circle? Attachment with detachment. This concept is something you will learn a lot if you hang around yoga ashrams.
Applying it to business or to anything you want to do in life is basically this: making sure that you’re emotionally involved enough in what you’re doing not to be emotionally involved anymore when it comes to the outcome. Let me explain myself and tell you a bit more about the food startup experience.
With the food startup, I had no real gut feeling but I had a pretty good plan. Now, with my holistic health business, I have a very strong gut feeling and no plan. And guess what? I’ve never had such a good response to what I’m doing.
Why? Because I’m so driven and so passionate about what I’m doing that I can afford not to care about the outcome. It doesn’t mean I don’t need or I don’t want to sell, of course not.
It only means that I’m not afraid about people saying no to me anymore. In fact, I know they’re not saying no to me, they’re saying no to what I’m offering to them right now. But I also know that what I’m doing has so much value that eventually they’ll come back. I’ll probably have to change the copy of my website or the way I communicate in the meantime to get my message across.
The big difference? Now I’ll be truly happy to do it because I want them to get it. I don’t have this feeling I’m stealing people’s money anymore. I truly believe I can bring them value, maybe I can even be the starting point of a big shift in their lives.
Back to the member of the Impatient school team who is afraid to sell. He’s the most emotionally involved and he’s the most afraid to sell. But he’s also very driven and knows this school is what he’d always wanted to do.
So, following my theory, he should be able not to be attached to the results, right?
Yes, BUT. You can tell yourself everything you want (and usually we humans are very good at telling stories to ourselves), if your emotions are not in sync with your thinking, the most brilliant thought will never make it to your brain.
The brain reacts to emotions and emotions are the result of our conditionings. If you’ve spent your whole life telling yourself that you don’t care about money, that money is bad or that you’re not part of “those rich people”, the moment you’ll be wanting to sell something, your emotions will get crazy. It’s like stepping on an anthill (don’t lie, you did it too). Your fears and conditionings will ring the alarm.
We all remember the sad face of our grandma when we didn’t take that third part of pie she made with so much love. Your grandma knew it was not about the pie not being good (if you had two pieces already…) but she still got sad. You eating the pie probably made her feel loved and feel she contributed.
So what you want to do is to get to that point where making the pie is enough of a reward for you. You want to be attached to making the best pie possible and being detached about how many pieces people will have. And then, guess what? People will fight over the last piece.
When you practice attachment with detachment, you’re able to think clearly, to make a smart plan and to go the extra mile. Think about it, when you’re the client, you can feel who’s the doing the extra mile and who is not. That’s how you make people fight about the last piece of your pie.
So here are some tips to practice attachment with detachment:
- Practice daily breathing exercises: if you don’t want your emotions to remain stuck, you need to breathe through them
- Practice EFT tapping: this powerful method will set you free from blockages and patterns that don’t serve you anymore + it’s an instant release!
- Do it, do it, do it! The more you put your heart on the table, the less you’ll have the feeling to do so!
- Repeat positive affirmations as simple as “I’m able to be detached” or “I’m worth of abundance” in the morning. They’ll have a powerful effect on your psyche over time.
You don’t need to put your organs on the table to bring value. The only thing you need to do is not to allow your conditionings and emotions to get in the way of you contributing to the world anymore. And when it happens, surround yourself with smart people who will have your back and remember you why you started to bake that pie in the first place!